Life

There isn't an easy way to deal with hard things. The best way that I know how is to write in my journal. I have been trying to keep this blog as a journal, so I figure this is the best place to think and write my thoughts. Just to clarify, I'm not trying to write this for pity or anything like that. I want to remember the things that happen to me and I don't have the energy to pick up a pen right now, typing is much easier.
This morning we were out on the boat with my dad and Blake. We were enjoying the lake and dropping off a few people on the shore. I moved to get out of the way for someone and my brother said "are you bleeding?" Sure enough. I was. As soon as we got home I called my OB and she said to go to the ER as soon as we could. I felt like I needed to ask my Dad, Jordan and Blake for a blessing. In the blessing I remember hearing that Heavenly Father is proud of me for the faith that I have.
We got to the hospital around 12:00. I was still bleeding. After blood work and ultrasounds and 6 hours of waiting, the doctor told us that the baby stopped growing around 7 weeks. There is no heartbeat and my HCG levels are extremely low. I will miscarry anytime now. Not the best thing to hear when you are so excited for your daughter to be a big sister!
I told Jordan that he needs to help me to remember that Heavenly Father will NOT give us anything that we cannot handle. He knows our strengths, and he knows that we can grow closer together as a couple and as a family through our trials. Everything will be ok. I know it.
I know that my Heavenly Father loves me. I know He has a plan for me. I know that he will not give us more than we can handle. I know that I was on the Lord’s side in Heaven, that I told Him I would do what He needed me to do on this earth. I know I was excited to come down and experience the awesome, amazing things that are here for me. I know I was willing to go through trials and tribulations so that I can have an eternal family. I know that my family is eternal. I know that my Heavenly Father knows me and that He loves me. He watches over me. He puts his loving arms around me and strengthens me when I can’t stand.

Best Friend's Sister-in-Law

Just wanted to promote this...Natalie has been fighting cancer for a while, and this is a benefit concert for her. Share with everyone you know! Hope to see you there!

. . . March 1, 2011 . . .

Well, I wonder how many people read this...March 1 Jaylee is going to be a big (well as big as an 18 month old can be) sister! Congrats us!